This content originally appeared on DEV Community and was authored by HotfixHero
There are two constants in software development:
- Deadlines that make no sense
- The phrase “works on my machine”
If you’ve been in the trenches long enough, you’ve heard it. Maybe you’ve even said it (shame on you). It’s the universal excuse, the verbal shrug that says “I washed my hands of this problem. May the production gods be with you.”
It’s the tech equivalent of this AAA story I once heard:
A driver in a 2017 Volkswagen Golf GTI calls in, panicked, because his car died on the roadside. The AAA agent, sitting in the office, casually replies: “That’s weird… I’m looking out the window right now and I see the exact same car drive by just fine.”
See the problem? That other car isn’t his car. Just like your laptop isn’t production.
And yet, “works on my machine” keeps haunting us. Why should we keep pretending? Let’s make it official: a Jira status.
Imagine the workflow:
- To Do
- In Progress
- In Review
- Works on My Machine
- Blocked
- Done
Because honestly, half of the time, that’s where tickets live anyway.
Here’s what “Works on My Machine” really means:
- Dev Environments Are Snowflakes Everyone’s running a slightly different version of Node, Java, Docker, or whatever fresh hell your stack requires. Your laptop is not production—it’s a theme park simulation of production, with fewer rides and more exceptions.
- We Treat CI/CD as a Suggestion If every commit doesn’t go through the same build and deploy pipeline, congrats—you’re running a volunteer fire department for bugs.
- No One Owns Infrastructure Developers blame Ops. Ops blames developers. QA just cries quietly in the corner. Meanwhile, the business wonders why the “simple fix” took three days and a therapy session.
But here’s the kicker: the business doesn’t care if it works on your machine. They care if it works in production, for actual paying users, without setting fire to servers like it’s Guy Fawkes Night.
So yes, let’s add “Works on My Machine” as a Jira status. At least then, we’d have an honest reflection of the mess. Transparency is the first step toward fixing it.
Or—and here’s a crazy thought—we could stop treating DevOps as a luxury.
Same environments, same pipelines, automated tests that run where it actually matters. Radical, right?
Until then, I’ll keep clicking refresh on Jira tickets stuck in limbo, whispering: “Fly free, little bug. May you one day work somewhere else.”
This content originally appeared on DEV Community and was authored by HotfixHero