This content originally appeared on dbushell.com (blog) and was authored by dbushell.com (blog)
As the VC-funded web continues to ensloppify, it’s important to remember that we don’t need to play their games. Despite billion dollar efforts the web remains decentralised. We can hyperlink right past the wannabe gatekeepers.
Like this hyperlink to the Animal Photo Reference Repository.
“AI” animal approximations ain’t got nothing on the real deal. Did you know there’s a Reddit page for Defending AI Art. Absolutely bizarre.
In my first “RSS-only” post I discussed my favourite whale books. Thank you for the reminders of Hitchhiker’s Guide, which after deliberation I’m tentatively qualifying as whale fiction.
There is sadly no photo reference for many extinct animals, but we do have other non-AI artistic depictions. I’ve watched all the Jurassic Park movies which basically makes me a palaeontologist now. I’m here today to present my top five scariest dinosaurs.
Spoiler warning.
Top Five Scariest Dinosaurs
…from the the Jurassic “Cinematic Universe”, which plays fast and loose with its definition and depiction of dinosaurs across seven movies. Yeah seven; they rebooted it this year with Scarlett Johansson and Mahershala Ali. It’s passable.
The Jurassic movies cover many genres including comedy, outright horror, and Jeff Goldblum. I love these movies because no matter how dreadful the plot becomes a good dino spook never gets old. This is not a paid sponsor I just think dinosaurs are awesome.
In reverse order.
#5 Therizinosaurus
Jurassic World: Dominion (2022) is an absolute travesty. They brought back the original cast and squandered it. The movie lost sight of what made the franchise great.
The Therizinosaurus also lost sight but it was never explained how it was blinded.
This long-fingered feathered psycho could have been the main villain. The swamp scene (YouTube) where Therizinosaurus stalks Bryce Dallas Howard, who silently escapes underwater before rising for air, was channeling Apocalypse Now energy.
Unfortunately the rest of the movie removed all suspense and danger.
#4 Spinosaurus
Jurassic Park III (2001) is an underrated movie in the franchise. They’d done Raptors twice. They upped the ante with two T-rex and baby T-rex in The Lost World (1997). What could they do next, three T-rex? That’d be as ludicrous as four naans.
The new big bad Spinosaurus was vicious and fast with a terrific intro (YouTube).
Having the Spinosaurus swallow the satellite phone and using the ringtone to announce its presence was a masterful plot device rivalling any horror movie.
#3 Indominus Rex
Number three might be a controversial choice. Jurassic World (2015) is in many ways a retelling of the original movie, except they invented a fake dinosaur.
Indominus Rex’s paddock escape (YouTube) is a thrilling introduction. I-Rex on the loose as the park panics to lockdown adds a permanent tension to the movie.
#2 Velociraptor
Before the franchise shit the bed with raptor-whispering, Raptors sent a shiver down the spine. First appearing in Jurassic Park (1993), they’re one of four dinosaur species† to appear in all seven movies.
An unseen raptor gets the first kill in the movies opening sequence. The early feeding scene (YouTube) is frightening and we still don’t see the raptors. Once they appear around an hour in their reputation is defined. It’s edge of the seat stuff for the rest of the movie.
Nowadays they’d have their own TikTok account before the movie even hit cinemas.
† Parasaurolophus, Triceratops, and Tyrannosaurus are the rest (apparently). The other confirmed species to appear in all seven movies is, of course, Human. And aren’t we the real dinosaurs?
#1 Tyrannosaurus
An easy and obvious top spot for the T-rex.
Peak Spielberg cinema. The original movie was well paced and truly terrifying at times.
Notice how the night scene in T-rex’s escape (YouTube) is lit. It feels dark yet you can actually see the action. A lost art in modern cinematography.
T-rex really pops off in the 2nd movie. Again, the night scene rescuing baby T-rex is a Spielberg masterclass. T-rex is done dirty in the 3rd movie, but get’s revenge in the 4th.
The standout scene in Jurassic World: Rebirth (2025) is a T-rex cameo battling a yellow rubber dinghy. This pays homage to the original novel by Michael Crichton.
Honourable Mentions
Although the Pteranodons are a threat in multiple movies, they lack the scare factor for my list. They get a bigger role in the latest movie but it’s all so lacklustre.
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018); the Indoraptor feigning sleep to escape it’s cage is a great scene (YouTube). It promises so much only to be thwarted by plot armour and well polished hardwood floors. And I can’t have two phonies on my list.
The Mosasaurus, a massive aquatic reptile, first appeared as a sideshow in Jurassic World. Its lurking cameo (YouTube) in Fallen Kingdom has Jaws-like vibes. Sadly we don’t see it again until Rebirth which again is a weak effort.
Shoutout to those who dare criticise the original T-rex scene because of a supposed plot hole. Where exactly does the cliff suddenly come from? To be fair, it’s a good question and I like a low stakes conspiracy theory, but also shut up and enjoy the best movie ever made.
And read the two Michael Crichton novels the movies miss a lot of action.
BTW, I stealth launched my Croissant RSS reader app! It can be used as a PWA (experimental) and macOS app. Croissant is “source available” not open source at this time. I’m still considering the best open source approach as I develop it.
This content originally appeared on dbushell.com (blog) and was authored by dbushell.com (blog)