This content originally appeared on Brad Frost and was authored by Brad Frost
Last year I shared 40 thoughts as I turned 40, and I really enjoyed the opportunity to reflect and share.
I got the idea to use my subsequent birthdays to build upon those thoughts. So as I make my 41st lap around the sun, I’ll add another thought to the list:
41. We are bigger than boxes
Society creates boxes for people. We create boxes for ourselves. As time goes on, I’ve become a lot more aware of these boxes, and I’m working hard to redesign and/or reject most of them.
The stories we tell ourselves are extremely important, and the fact of the matter is we often tell ourselves self-limiting stories in order to better fit into boxes. “I used to play music” is something people regularly tell me. That’s a story we tell ourselves. “I can’t [INSERT ANYTHING]” is a thought that regularly pops into our minds. That’s a story we tell ourselves. “I need to get a ‘real job’ to be successful” is a story we tell ourselves. “That’s just how it is” is a story we tell ourselves. “I’ll be happy when…” is a story we tell ourselves.
Because the mind is the originator of everything, these stories can become self-fulfilling prophecies. If you tell yourself you don’t play music anymore, chances are you won’t play music anymore. If you tell yourself you can’t learn or do something, chances are you won’t learn or do that thing. If you tell yourself that dream is too ambitious or unrealistic, chances are it won’t come true.
The truth is that nearly every box is a social construct. Too often, we make ourselves smaller in order to fit into these boxes. And this process of making ourselves smaller involves lopping off important parts of our being, which leads to unfulfillment, disillusion, and one-dimensionality.
So the big question I’ve been asking is: how can we reconsider and redesign these boxes, or even remove them altogether? Because we are SO MUCH BIGGER than the boxes that our negative self talk and society create.
I am large, I contain multitudes.
Walt Whitman
By reframing, expanding, or removing the boxes that surround us, we’re able to operate as our full selves and give ourselves permission to explore, invent, and chart our own destiny. Of course, it’s risky to reject these boxes! But releasing your grip on these known boxes forces you to believe in yourself, your skills, and your potential. It is liberation.
What stories do you tell yourself? What are the boxes you try to fit into? Are there parts of yourself you feel you’re leaving behind in order to fit into those boxes? What aspects of these boxes ought to be reconsidered, redesigned, or removed in order for you to live a fuller life?
Here’s my artistic representation of these thoughts:
This content originally appeared on Brad Frost and was authored by Brad Frost